Governments across the world are advising against travel, in order to slow the spread of the coronavirus. Some cities are open for tourism, but the consensus is that it’s best to wait until things are back to normal—when your friends can safely cancel travel plans at the last minute, just like in the good old days. Until then, pack your bags, then put them in the closet and dream about all the cool vacay spots you’ll hit when the pandemic ends, in 2027.
Old New York
Old New York is going to be so fun—hopping from bar to bar because you forgot how hot places can get when they don’t have C.D.C.-mandated capacity limits. From taking pictures in Times Square with Elmo to seeing Naked Cowboy, Sr., pass the torch to his son, Naked Cowboy, Jr., to touching a subway pole and only worrying about getting regular-sick, the Big Apple should be on everybody’s future travel list.
Yes, Mississippi. Its willingness to finally change its flag means that Mississippians are moving in a progressive direction. You know what comes after taking the Confederate symbol off your flag? Legalizing marijuana. We all look forward to the Magnolia State becoming the new Amsterdam.
More time passing means more climate change, which means warmer weather for Alaska! A 2027 Alaska summer trip might just be the move once it gets up to a scorching sixty-two degrees. Wax your surfboard, because those melting glaciers will make for some gnarly alley-oop opportunities.
Canada has been pretty strict about who can enter the country since the pandemic began, and rightfully so. They even evicted the Toronto Raptors and made them play home games in America, like a troubled teen they shipped off to boarding school. But, once this is all over, in six years, there will be free poutine fountains at the border. Prime Minister Drake will make sure of that.
Amazon Prime Island
An Amazon Prime subscription will grant you access to Jeff Bezos’s inevitable Amazon Prime Island. Prime members will be able to mingle with actors from their favorite Prime shows and movies. Don’t worry, you don’t have to have Prime to visit, but unfortunately, as a regular member, your flight to the island will take two to three business days.
By 2027, Elon Musk and Co. will have shuttles ready to beam us up into outer space. If we’re lucky, Spirit Airlines might even offer some cheap flights out there. (Baggage fees might be pricey, though, so you should probably leave the luggage at home and go clothes shopping when you get to Mars.)